Dear Ms. Tin-foil Stink,

4 of us saw you at the bus stop wondering what was in that mysterious tinfoil package that you were caressing with your hands. We kept trying to get a glance at it and caught each other several times in the process. Alas, you didn’t reveal your goods until you were on the bus sitting directly behind me.

I heard the soft crackle of tin-foil opening and several heads turned around; no surprise that it was the other 3 gentleman who were stealing glances at your mystery package 5 minutes earlier.

Then it hit me.

The god awful smell of your breakfast food waffled through the air as gently as a scud missile during Desert Storm. I immediately turned around and saw that you were eating a huge hunk of Munster cheese.

After realizing what you were eating, I immediately turned around to make it painfully less obvious that I was on the verge of vomited in my mouth. The master card moment was when the person sitting next to you got up and moved 5 rows up to try to evade the smell.

Don’t get me wrong. I love cheese. Everyone loves cheese. It’s just that myself and your fellow bus commuters just don’t love the world’s 4th smelliest cheese in the morning sitting right next to us.

May we suggest a tasty Starbucks breakfast sandwich instead?

Love,

Me

Since starting to take the connector bus about a month and a half ago, my life has gotten considerably better by eliminating the stress of the commuter traffic, and giving me about an extra hour a day to read.

One of the unexpected highlights has been the crazy array of characters I’ve seen while taking The Connector. So in the spirit of Overheard in New York, here is the first installment of As seen on the bus.

Dear Mr. Sweaty Man,

You got in all in a hurry the other day looking quite frazzled. From the the way that you were panting, the casual observer would have thought you ran for miles (or even a few blocks) to get to the Connector. However, you and I both know I saw you cross the street from your apartment building exactly one block away.

You proceeded to sweat uncontrollably the entire ride. So much, in fact, one might have been scared for your health. The panting you had initially when you got on the connector had passed, but for some reason your body wasn’t in agreement. You looked so hot for the first 15 minutes of the ride, but then you started to sweat through your entire shirt. Half-way through our commute, your shirt looked like saran wrap and we could see the pores of your skin. I hope that your jacket and bottom of your shirt helped cool you down as you wiped your face.

Proof that it’s a good thing that we have on-campus showers.

Love,

Me